A Letter To My Best Friend…

Dear Mum,

I don’t think I’ll ever be grateful enough for your love. I know it’s what mothers are supposed to do but you always went above and beyond; giving me more than enough to make up for not having a father.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express how much it meant to me that even as a child you always spoke to me as an equal. You never talked at me or down to me. You saw me as an extension of you and I am proud to be your mini me.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to laugh as much as I have when we’ve quoted movies, TV shows, the memories we’ve shared and all the times I just had to pull a face and we would crack up in hysterics.

I don’t think I’ll ever be thankful enough for all the times you sat by my bed. You were so patient. When I refused to take my medicine, when I was upset about something, when I experienced panic or when I just needed to talk until it was 3am and both our eyes were bleary…you never left my side. You let me express myself. You let me get it out. I really needed that and still do. Thank you…

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to explain how comforting it is to have a mother who knows your heart and soul. You know when I’m sad, when I’m happy, when I need to talk and when I just need a hug. You always gave me permission to feel my feelings and told me that every single one was valid.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to articulate how connected we both are. We just know when the other is out of sorts. We say the right things at the right times to each other. We really are best friends and I cherish every moment we share together.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to communicate just how easy you made it to communicate. You always opened up a forum for discussion. You made yourself so approachable. I tell you everything and always will because you made me feel right at ease.

I don’t think I’ll ever be appreciative enough for how you protected my sister and I from our father. You selflessly put us before you each and every time. You shielded us from his anger, his aggression and his darkness. We would’ve been so much more damaged if it wasn’t for you.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget the day you got the bad news. It was me and you and we knew there was a long, difficult road ahead. You were so brave. You are still so brave. I’m in awe of your resilience.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to relate to anybody else the way I relate to you. You make me feel special and you acknowledge my strengths every time we talk. You have always supported my writing, my dreams, my ambitions and the choices I’ve made.

I don’t think I’ll ever be to convince you of what a role model you are to me. You may not think so but you are. You are my guiding light, my voice of reason and my warrior woman. You’ve risen from the ashes time and time again with a renewed strength and a refined compass that continues to navigate you down the right path.

I don’t think I’ll ever be glad enough that you introduced spirituality into my life. From sharing life affirming quotes to listening to me ramble about astrology, you’ve bought inner peace and an abundance of love into my world. You encourage me to search for the deeper meaning. You invite me to study myself as you continue to do so every day that you are alive.

I don’t think I’ll ever be indebted enough to you for showing me how to love. Although you haven’t experienced a balanced love from somebody else; it doesn’t mean that you don’t know what it is. I’ve watched you love with a full heart and for that my heart is also full. I’m able to love and trust so easily because of what you showed me.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to take away all the pain you’ve endured and the suffering I’ve seen you go through but I can promise you I’ll always be there to love and support you. You are so strong and fearless. You will be just fine no matter what happens to you.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to show you what your love and devotion has done to my life. It’s opened up a whole world of possibility. It has given me strength, adventure, curiosity and kindness. You gave me everything you never had. It’s the ultimate sacrifice and I’m so incredibly grateful.

I don’t think I’ll ever be to stress how important it is to raise a child with the values of loving one another, seeing the world in equality and caring about the environment. You instilled those in me and I will instil those in my own children.

I don’t think you’ll ever know just how much I love you. How lucky I am to have you as my mother. How fortunate I am that you happened to be my best friend as well. How privileged I am to be your daughter. How honoured I am to share a special bond with you. How blessed I am to have you as a figure to aspire to.

Xoxox…