Warning: This post is full of sap!
As Francis & I near our 3 year anniversary in May, I have been thinking a lot about our upcoming marriage later in the year. Since the second we met, we had been husband and wife without the official title. One day could not take away how married we have always felt. Early days, we jokingly spoke about eloping but I always knew at the very least, I had to have my mum there to witness our special day. I have to confess, I get choked up every time I picture her walking me down the aisle hand in hand. In fact, Francis and I have both expressed our concerns about becoming a crying mess on the day. Just mentioning the day itself brings tears!
Francis and I have affirmed with each other that the number one reason we are getting married is because we wish to be legally recognised as husband and wife. Love plays a gigantic part but we don’t need to be married to show how much we love one another. When I focus on that, the aesthetics and frills are no longer important. There is no doubt that I have loved wedding planning together. I will never forget the first time I tried on a wedding dress and mum and I dissolved into tears. But really, this day is about the two of us alone. It isn’t about the perfect ring, flowers, venue, centerpieces, music etc… It is 100% a celebration of our love and eternal commitment to one another. It is about our legal recognition as husband and wife. Following on from that, I do want to mention that my cousin and her girlfriend will be at my wedding. They are so in love and happy. I cannot wait for the day that it is legal, not just in Australia but worldwide for gay couples to get married. Love is love!
Over 3 years ago, I walked into a home around the corner from mine that was filled with family portraits on the walls. I saw his smiling face looking at me for the first time and felt an instant connection. Who was this beautiful man? Why did I feel this way? My mum introduced me to his stepmother and father as she and my stepfather had recently become good friends. His stepmother; a yogi and spiritual woman told me that I would be perfect with her eldest stepson. She felt that we were fated. Having seen his picture on the wall that was accompanied by a sudden spark, I had to find out if she was right. We contacted one another and talked everyday for over a month until we decided to meet in person. At this stage, I had already fallen in love with him. He was so different to anybody I had ever known. He was a vegan who had studied marine biology at university. He had a passion for the environment and the animals. He was a hard-worker who owned his own apartment and took care in saving money (something I’m still grateful for to this very day!). He was kind, funny, deep, thoughtful and altogether grounded. When we met in person for the first time, my feelings were cemented. I remember walking and talking for hours all over Melbourne. I remember looking over and seeing him glancing at me with adoration. I remember his gentle kiss on my cheek as he said goodbye. His stepmother was right…we were fated. That night, after our first date, I literally did not sleep. I was beyond excited about the epic love I knew was coming.
Francis and I had both come from a past of difficult relationships. After both being hurt by previous partners, we had spent a year working on ourselves and cultivating self-love. I was surprised to find out how similar our stories were and well, timing is everything. When we met, we were ready for a deep love. Having been let down by a lot of males in my life (father, exes…), it was so refreshing to had found somebody I respected so highly. I was in awe of this man with such a good heart. I remember dancing all over the house, my mum laughing at me as I cried ‘I’m in love!’ Nobody had ever evoked such rich feelings from me. At the age of nearly 27 and 30, we are so grounded and secure in who we are. We are hard-working people that will always support one another mentally, physically, emotionally and even financially. We share a bank account, a car, a home, veganism, in-jokes, love, affection, hobbies and even a star in the sky that we claimed as our own. I will save some of my outpouring for our wedding vows but when that day arrives, I know exactly why I want to marry Francis. It will be just one more thing I get to share with him before we create a family together.
In just 3 years of being together, we have laughed and cried . We have seen the world and grown together. Being both quite introverted and shy, I was overjoyed at being proposed to in another country. We were given that time to enjoy the experience (which we called our Engagement Moon) and keep the special moments to ourselves.
There is so much more to love than just saying the words. It’s in the actions. It’s me lying in a hospital bed at 4am with Francis holding my hand and sleeping next to me. It’s him asking me to move in after only a few months of dating. It’s the way he introduced me to veganism and changed my world forever. It’s coming home and finding that he rearranged the furniture so I had my own meditation space. It’s the constant support he provides in my creative outlets; writing testimonials and reading my books. It’s telling me every single day since our engagement that he cannot wait to marry me. It’s the silly duets we sing when we wash the dishes. It’s the way we always tell each other what we ate for lunch. It’s how he messages my mum to see how she’s going, knowing how much she means to me. It’s the crazy made up dances. It’s the way he taps me three times in public as a code to say he loves me. It’s the cuddles and massages in the middle of the night. It’s the look in his eyes that light up whenever I step through the door. It’s the lingering hugs, kisses and that unspoken promise that he will cherish me forever. It’s the knowing that our unborn children will grow up in a household full of love.
There is no end to my love for this man. We are independent individuals that stand together. We don’t wonder ‘why did you choose me?’ We chose each other because we are both so worthy of the love the other can provide. Francis does not complete me because I already completed me long before we met. He does however, add richness, beauty, love and laughter to my life. He is quite literally the cherry on top of my vegan cake.
I love you with all of my heart and soul Francis Carl Fittipaldi and I cannot wait to ‘legally’ become your wife. Marriage is just the beginning for us…