I know I’m usually raving about horror movies, but today I am going to share with you my top 5, least favourite scary films. They don’t always get it right. If I mention one you love, I’m truly sorry. This is just my opinion and does not mean you are wrong. Without further ado, let’s get into it! Spoilers ahead!
1.) The Open House
The Open House received a 13% score on Rotten Tomatoes and 3.2 on IMDB. In my opinion, those ratings were quite generous; such is my distaste for this film. This story follows a mother and son, who move into a mountain chalet, waiting until it sells. The townspeople are odd and during the open house visits on Sundays, a series of strange events begin occurring. How do I even begin to describe my terrible viewing experience? I was hoping this would fall under the paranormal genre (and earlier scenes do suggest something otherworldly causing all the chaos) but no, it’s just an unidentified killer, who has no real purpose or connection to the main characters. Furthermore, the scares are LAME. A lot of the film is just somebody moving the teenager’s phone around and turning off the pilot light, so their showers are cold. The storyline made no sense, the reveal was incredibly underwhelming and the ending was depressing. There are red herrings that aren’t executed well and just end up manifesting as loose-ends with no closure. The acting was subpar and the majority of jump scares relied on an Alzheimer’s patient. Do not watch this. Do not waste your time!
2.) The Grudge (2020)
If you know me, you know I love The Grudge – both the American and Japanese versions. I am planning on ranking the English speaking franchise in 2022, so stay tuned for that. I was a massive fan of the television series: Ju-On Origins and highly recommend it, if you love this story. However, the newest installment, that was released in 2020, was woeful. The biggest disservice in this reboot was the lack of Kayako. She’s more of a side character, than the main spirit, who is a completely different person named Melinda. When you watch The Grudge, you do so for Kayako. Furthermore, you expect the story to feature the infamous cursed house in Japan. Not in this one! The entire plot takes place in a new dwelling, in Pennsylvania. The acting was bad, plus the storyline was disjointed and confusing. There were so many things that didn’t make sense. For example, if the house is supposed to curse everybody that enters, there would be a slew of dead policeman and paramedics, who would’ve had to come inside to remove the bodies. Yet, there is no mention of this. This installment was pointless. It added nothing and I wish it hadn’t been made. Ugh!
3.) The Woman In Black
This one hurts a bit, because I was expecting The Woman in Black to be one of my favourites. It had all the makings of my kind of spooky story. It is a gothic tale, featuring a paranormal entity, a haunted house with creepy dolls and a stunning backdrop in the English countryside. Not to mention, Daniel Radcliffe plays the protagonist. After his wife passes away, Arthur Kipps, (a lawyer) is sent to a remote village to put a deceased eccentric’s affairs in order. When he arrives, it becomes clear that the villagers are hiding a terrible secret and a woman is haunting his late client’s home, desperate to find something or someone she lost. The only redeeming quality of this film is the scenery. It’s beautifully shot. That is where my compliments end. It was slow, boring and not even remotely scary. Furthermore, the ending was shocking, and not in a good way. Horror doesn’t usually wrap-up pleasantly, but this was downright morbid. Arthur’s four year old son is killed by an incoming train and Arthur himself, dies trying to save him. I know this is based off a book but I haven’t read it, so I’m unsure if it’s similar to the adaptation. Either way, I was not okay with the murder of a toddler. I was so disappointed. Let me know if the novel is any better.
4.) Await Further Instructions
This sci-fi horror film had an excellent concept, but the execution was poor. It follows an English family, who come together on Christmas Eve, only to have their home completely taken over by a mysterious black substance on Christmas Day. There is no explanation, aside from their television broadcasting a message that reads: Await Further Instructions. As the film progresses, more and more commands are given via the screen and tensions rise, as the cabin-fever starts to set in. I didn’t like a single character in this movie. There was so much blatant racism, vulgarity and unnecessary violence throughout the entire story. It was very unrealistic and by that, I don’t mean the science fiction elements, I mean the way the family behaved under those circumstances. They were horrible to one another and I don’t believe any parent would treat their children the way the father did. The ending didn’t provide any closure or explanation for the hostile takeover. It made me feel sick and I’m not the squeamish type. As a horror enthusiast, I’m so desenitised to gore, but the outright abuse was nauseating. I wouldn’t recommend this to anybody.
5.) The Cabin In The Woods
Last but not least, we have a highly controversial opinion. The Cabin In The Woods is beloved by so many people. I think that’s why I didn’t like it. I was expecting something incredible and I was let down. When five college friends arrive at a remote, forest cabin for a vacation, little do they expect the horrors that await them. One by one, the youths fall victim to backwoods zombies, but there is another factor at play. Two scientists are manipulating the ghoulish goings-on, but even as the body count rises, there is more at work than meets the eye. So here is my issue with this movie. I didn’t know it was supposed to be a dark comedy. I went into this film taking it seriously and when it started to get weird, I got confused. It was only after it ended, that I realised it was a parody mash-up of other horror movies. In that context, I asked myself if that made it any better. It didn’t. I don’t understand the hype and I wouldn’t re-watch it. Sorry!
Thank you for reading! Let me know if you agree or disagree with my list. What is your least favourite horror movie?
Peace & Love xoxo