Ranking American Horror Stories – Season 1!

Hi all!

With Season 2 of American Horror Stories set to premiere July 21st, I decided to rank all of the episodes on Season 1. If you want to see my ranking for the entire American Horror Story franchise, you can check that out here. Just to be clear, AHS and American Horror Stories are not the same thing. They are set in the same universe (created by the same director: Ryan Murphy) but stand on their own as separate television shows. One is a continuing story, the other is made up of individual stories. I also want to add that each episode has its own unique intro credits. I’m thrilled that they included that. Without further ado (from most to least favourite) let’s get into my list! Spoilers ahead!

1.) Rubber(wo)man Part 1 

The funny thing about Rubber(wo)man Part 12 is it’s either at the top or bottom of people’s lists, depending on how they feel about Murder House (the setting for Season 1 of AHS). In my personal opinion, I cannot get enough of Murder House, hence them landing in first and second place. This story follows a teenager named Scarlett Winslow, who moves into the infamous evil dwelling with her two gay fathers. It isn’t long before she finds the cursed Rubber Man suit. When a group of girls play a humiliating prank on her, Scarlett slips into the dominatrix costume and murders them all. It’s sexy, violent and dangerous. I love a good revenge trope. Not only that, there are lots of nods to the original series. I feel like this episode was the perfect opening to American Horror Stories.

2.) Rubber(wo)man Part 2

In Part 2Scarlett forms a relationship with Ruby, a young girl who snuck into Murder House to commit suicide and returned as a ghost. In order to keep Scarlett forever, Ruby arranges for her girlfriend’s fathers to be killed so they are eternally trapped within the walls of their own home. Unfortunately, Scarlett decides to leave and live her own life but not before she promises to visit Ruby every Halloween, when the ghosts are most active. This episode was not as exciting as Part 1 but it still provided us with a twisted love story we couldn’t help but root for. We see Scarlett and Ruby reprise their roles in Game Over (below).

3.) Drive In 

In third place we have Drive In, which was so much fun. It’s about a cursed film called Rabbit Rabbit that causes its viewers to violently turn on each other after watching it. When the banned movie is played at a drive-in, a couple are forced to survive the slaughter from the rest of the audience. It has plenty of gore, a great premise and a chilling ending that hits very close to home. If you’re tired of Murder House, skip the first two episodes and go straight to this one. You won’t be disappointed.

4.) BA’AL 

In fourth place we have BA’AL, which stars AHS regular: Billie Lourd. After several failed attempts to get pregnant, Liv receives a mysterious totem from a receptionist at the fertility clinic and is instructed to place it underneath her bed before she has sex. It works and she gives birth to a son, but with it comes crippling postpartum depression and hallucinations of a demon named BA’AL, haunting her child. Liv returns to the receptionist for answers, who shares a banishment ritual with her. It backfires and Liv ends up stabbing her husband accidentally. She’s admitted to an asylum and it is revealed her husband had been gas-lighting his wife all along, as well as having an affair with the receptionist. Whilst he celebrates, the real BA’AL arises and slaughters him and his lover in an act of revenge. Liv welcomes the demon into her bed so they can make another baby. I know it sounds bizarre but it’s such a great and creepy episode. The ending is so satisfying. Billie’s acting is next level.

5.) The Naughty List 

This story follows a group of YouTube influencers, obsessed with views and online popularity. When their channel begins losing subscribers, they decide to film a prank video at the shopping centre’s Santa Village, by publicly humiliating the mall’s Santa (played by the iconic Danny Trejo). On Christmas Eve, they upload the video and hit five million subscribers. However, the celebrations are short-lived as Santa drops in to get his bloody revenge. It’s a quick slasher that pokes fun at social media and vloggers. The boys were so annoying but they were definitely intended that way. I liked it, just not as much as the others.

6.) Game Over 

The last two episodes I could have done without but I’ll discuss them anyway. Game Over follows a mum named Michelle, who creates a virtual reality simulation called Escape From Murder House in order to impress her son. After his negative critiques, she decides to enter the house herself on Halloween in order to make the game as realistic as possible. As mentioned above, Ruby and Scarlett reappear, stabbing her to death. Her son arrives at the house and burns it down in a grieving rage. The twist ending reveals that Michelle was actually alive and that the events beforehand were just part of her game, which her son finally approves of. As much as I love Murder House, this final episode was quite confusing. It didn’t add anything. I don’t think it should have concluded this way. It would almost have been better to end with Rubber(wo)man Part 2.

7.) Feral 

In last place we have Feral. Ugh! I’m sorry. I didn’t enjoy this episode at all. It follows a boy named Jacob, who disappears on a camping trip with his father. Ten years later, his dad encounters a hunter who presents evidence that Jacob is still alive after being kidnapped by a drug cartel. They enter the woods to seek his whereabouts but find themselves hunted by wild humanoid creatures. A park ranger named Stan divulges that the National Park Service was created by the government to protect the public from the “Feral Nation”, a sub-population of cannibalistic inbred humans with an unknown origin. As Stan tries to radio his superiors about the situation, the ranger station is attacked by the ferals. The father recognises their leader as an older and long-haired Jacob, who proceeds to eat his estranged parents alive. The worst part of this episode was Cody Fern’s (Stan’s) awful fake Australian accent. It grated on me the entire time. The story itself was a very lame version of Wrong Turn. Big pass!

Thank you so much for reading! Do you agree with my list? Stay tuned for my ranking of Season 2! 

Peace & Love xoxo

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